Thursday, January 27, 2011

Have Mercy......Please

CA Cop and I were getting ready to go out on the town, just the two of us. Shasta and Sierra were carted off to my brother's house to enjoy some time playing with their beloved cousins.

As I was switching know, to match my outfit, and to unload diapers, wipies, fruit snacks, and loose cheerios that wouldn't be required, I turned to CA Cop.

"Hey hon, is there any reason why I would need to bring my wallet?" Apparently this was a question that I have asked a time or two during similar situations. His response:

"You should always have your ID with you, I'm not going to tell you again."

I choked back the laughter and gave him a serious nod. Perhaps I raised an eyebrow at him, just ever so slightly.

His face broke into a smirk as he took me by the hand and opened the car door for me.

Help us all, if he brings his cop talk home! I'd like to think I'm slightly cuter than most the felons he deals with. Perhaps an extra spritz of body spray and a glossier lipstick will help him remember the difference next time.

But hey, if not, a little tough guy talk now and then will just allow me some internal chuckles throughout the day.

Love. Him.

Monday, January 24, 2011

11 Officers Shot Over 24 Hours- "War on Cops"

"I have never seen anything like it."  Craig W. Floyd, chairman and CEO of the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund.

"There's a perception among officers in the field that there's a war on cops going on." Richard Roberts, spokesman for the International Union of Police Associations.

"It's not a good situation out there," Steve Groeninger, spokesman for the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund.

As I read this article, I can't help but feel many emotions and frustrations. Be safe out there, officers,. Come home to your families at the end of your shift.

We are waiting for you.....

To the victims and their families, you have many prayers being sent your way. May you find some solace at this difficult time.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Thoughts.....

He was standing in the kitchen. Leaning against the island. Arms crossed. His parents were over. I usually get to hear even more stories of his work week when his dad is around.  He likes to talk to his dad about what he does.

"If you move I will kill you. I am serious, we will kill you." His gun was out. Finger on the trigger.  The aspiring "rapper" now sat still in his vehicle. They slapped the cuffs on him right there before removing him from the car and then removing the fully loaded pistol from the from seat.

It still seems strange to me. I know full well every word that was said was meant. He would kill that man if he moved. And rightfully so. I guess I'm still not used to the fact that he has his gun out, prepared to kill another human, weekly at the very least. Its just still seems so different. I'm grateful he's out there protecting the innocent and his fellow officers and is not afraid to take initiative and unholster his weapon when it becomes necessary in his shift. It is just what is normal now.

There I sat in the kitchen cheering him on thinking, "Darn right, baby, he is not going to move without you blasting a few rounds in him. You are coming home at the end of every shift. No matter what the cost."

I hope I can explain myself right. It's not strange that he is carrying or using a gun. That's familiar. He had a concealed carry permit long before becoming a cop. With the very low income rental properties that we had, carrying a gun was just a smart thing to do. After a big Rottweiler chased him onto the hood of his truck when he was knocking on doors collecting rent, he never left his gun at home. He was also a hunter. Brought us home fresh game, antlers hung in the garage. I'm used to guns. I appreciate guns. I want them in my house.

I guess this recent experience just made me realize that I am still not used to the life and death scenarios that he is faced with every shift. His life. His death. A stranger's life. Their death. How clear his mind must be. How decisive his judgement. How important his training. How prepared emotionally.

I know that most officers never have to fire their weapon. I just didn't realize how often the scenario would still arise.

Monday, January 17, 2011


"Really?"  There they were, our friends, their chins now resting comfortably on our solid oak table, mouths agape.  In my mind I used my serving spatula to lift their jaws back to their correct positions.

I watched the husband give the situation a second thought as a look of shock turned into careful contemplation. His eyes began to glaze over as he imagined wonderful things that might occur if he too, had his own room.

You see, they were over for dinner the other night. Sierra and Shasta playing happily with their children while we enjoyed good conversation and good food. The conversation had an awkward pause at one point in the evening. I asked CA Cop where his iPod was at and he casually replied, "Oh, its in my room," then laughed as he turned to our friends and proudly announced, "because I have my own room, now!"

I guess this seemed very odd to them. For us, it makes total sense and is actually working out very well. I blogged that we were toying with this idea due to his shift change, and we went for it. He gets great sleep, I get great sleep, and I still have access to my closet, clothes, hair products, etc. He "moves back in" on his days off.

When our babies were newborn we set up this same scenario. That way I could tend to the needs of a sleepless, hungry, in need of diaper changing infant without disturbing my man who had to get up early and provide said diapers, blankets, and food. 

CA Cop and I are very close. Getting good rest allows us to remain so!

And so we continue on this journey......

Friday, January 14, 2011


My bedroom door opened. I was already awake. My body in tune to his schedule. He was different. Usually he does an immediate face plant onto the bed and allows slumber to overtake him instantly. After all, most people are getting their deepest, most restful sleep at that hour. Tonight, he sat upright in bed next to me. He flipped on the TV. Fidgeted around. He was wide awake.

"How was your shift?" My voice cracked. I rested my head on my hand as I forced my elbow to support the weight. He needed to talk, I could tell. Or at least to calm down.

"I was almost in a car accident. Almost- meaning inches from an accident. I don't know how I avoided it." His eyes seemed to tell the story. Large. Alert. I could tell now, what was different. Adrenaline was still pumping through his body. Although, I'm sure it had slowed down, it was still very much a factor.

On his weary way home. Flying down the freeway at probably a cool 80mph. Fighting the burn to keep his eyes open, music blasting to keep his brain from succumbing to the need for relief, air conditioner forcing the chilled wind to slap his cheeks. His hands gripped the wheel. He sat upright. And all the sudden there it was, in his lane. A black car that had just met the guard rail was now sitting stalled in the #1 lane with no lights or hazard lights to speak of.  A dazed driver stood outside the vehicle, in the middle of the freeway, starring at the scene. CA Cop swerved at the very last possible moment missing the vehicle and the driver by "inches", maintained control and pulled over to the shoulder.

I think he had some choice words for the guy. He directed him as to the correct way to handle the situation. Waited for CHP, then made his way home to his family.

Similar scenarios have happened on CA Cop's wee hours of the morning drives home from work. He will be first on the scene of an accident, witness to an accident, or narrowly avoid an accident.

I guess I'm just grateful for prayer and for faith. Two things I couldn't live without.......Sierra prays for her daddy's safety each night. I think the Big Man listens.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Phone Call

CA Cop showed up to work the other day for some overtime hours.  He was greeted by a sergeant and a commander. They pulled him aside. It was in reference to an individual he had arrested on the last day of his work week. The man had called the department with a few things he needed to say about CA Cop.

CA Cop knew exactly who this guy was.  A routine traffic stop had turned into arresting the guy on a felony warrant and bringing him down to county.  His face was still clear in CA Cop's mind. But what he distinctly remembered were the three sets of wide eyes that stared up at CA Cop as he asked their daddy to step out of the vehicle. The kids were real young. Real impressionable. Ideas about life still being formed and molded by their surroundings.  The wife began to softly weep as her husband heard the click of the cuffs locking around his wrists.

Now, fresh out on bail the man had immediately exercised his freedom of speech and contacted the department.

But this call was different.  He called to thank CA Cop for the way that he handled the situation, especially in front of his young family.  He felt that he was treated fairly, with dignity and respect.

Commander and Sergeant told CA Cop "Job well done," and sent him on his way.

As a wife, I loved hearing this.  I know its a very simple thing.  But in a strange way I feel like it offered some internal peace. I'm happy to know that CA Cop still has both feet firmly on the ground.....still has a human touch........Keep it up. You make me proud.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Rock

He was dispatched to a common neighborhood.  Houses lined up in tidy rows. Lawns neatly trimmed. Bay Town really has some great neighborhoods. This one was average. Your typical working class family. Most probably commuting into San Francisco each morning. The call was for a small house fire. CA Cop and his partner pulled up near the house in question and began walking on the sidewalk toward it. A car pulled into the driveway of a nearby house. A known dirtbag, parolee exited the vehicle and gazed at the police present in his neighborhood. CA cop and his partner took note of the individual and headed up the walkway where the call of distress had been made.CA Cop felt a breeze whip by his ear as he saw a big, gray rock bounce two feet in front him and then roll to a stop on the pavement of the driveway he was standing on. They looked back at the direction the rock had come from and saw no one. It had clearly come from the dirtbag's house as he is the only one with those rocks in his front yard......

When this happened CA Cop was brand new. He laughed as he told me the story. I clenched my teeth. This royally pissed me off.

I hate thinking about all the morons out there who want to hurt cops for the simple fact that they wear the uniform. Here these officers were trying to respond to a call to help someone.  They didn't need the distraction.

So he's had rocks thrown at him, been spit on, called names, lied to on a daily basis, fought with, etc. You cops have tough skin. I think it bothers me, worse than it bothers him (if it even bothers him at all).To think of the way some who don't even know him, will treat him. I know his heart. I know his purpose. His intentions are good. His intentions are to serve.... Even the citizens who throw rocks at him.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

CA Cop Retells

"The suspect fled from the still running vehicle. I jumped out of my patrol car and my boots slammed against the pavement as I pushed my body to run faster and stronger. He turned a corner and I was determined not to let him evade me any longer. Despite the gear weighing me down, my speed picked up as I rounded the same corner. A brick building. That's when it happened. He had a black pistol aimed right at my chest.  I instinctively reached for my gun. My training took over as I pulled it from the holster.  Survival set in. He fired. Twice. I felt the bullets approach my vest. Right in the middle of my chest. Then I heard the sounds from the gun that fired them. And the sounds, the deafening noise, woke me up from my sleep." CA Cop was grinning as he told me his dream and why he had shot out of bed so quickly.

"Wow, hon, that sounds pretty intense." My eyes were wide. My hand rested over my lips. My mind searched for something to say. Is that okay? Does it mean anything that he had this dream? Is this normal?

"It was just strange that it seemed as if the gunshots are what woke me up."

.......He's still smiling........hours later.......I think he likes his new ability to run through scenarios even while he's sleeping.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Enlighten Me.....Paranoia

How did I let time slip away like that? A dark blue film seemed to cover the outdoors as dusk was rapidly approaching. I really hate going out at night.  I don't like driving and I don't like being out around our city when "the street lights come on". An unusual chill (I use that term lightly for you northern folks dealing with real chill) was in the air as I unloaded the little ones placing one on each hip as we scurried through the parking lot seeking the refuge of the heated, well lit store. The flashing lights of the security car caught Shasta's attention as the driver patrolled the parking lot looking for individuals up to no good. I sighed to myself thinking about what this city has turned into now that nearly every store I go to at night has to have ARMED security. We shop. I referee fights between the kids. We shop. I grab items out of Shasta's hands as he tries to prematurely open things like noodles and peanuts. We finish shopping. Back to the parking lot. Its dark. Night has now completely replaced day and the sky is covered with thick clouds. I feel it. The paranoia. I start looking over my shoulder. I start looking ahead. The parking lot is quiet. The security car is nowhere to be seen. I plan maneuvers in my head. This might be the time I will need to claw me some eyes out of some creep. I'm scanning. I quickly shuffle the kids into the car along with my purse. Then I proceed to unload my groceries. Still scanning. The smell is heavy in the air. Marijuana. The car behind me starts their engine and starts blasting heavy rap music. Just adds to the ambiance. The large SUV next me turns their lights on. I didn't even realize someone was in the car. I'm not observant enough. Scan. I put the cart in the return spot (always park near those) and spring into my car. Lock the doors. Breathe. Ponder. Really? Is this how normal people live?

Rewind a few nights. It was New Year's Eve. CA Cop was, of course, working. I informed him that I would be taking the kids over to my brother's house for dinner and some games and so that they could play with their cousins.

"You need to be home early." CA responded to my announcement of my evening plans.

"Of, course, the kids will be tired."

"I'm serious, CA Cop Wife (he used my name, so you know he means business), you cannot stay out late tonight."

There was urgency and sternness in his voice.

"OK, I was only planning on staying for a little while."

"I don't want you guys driving tonight. Especially later. And don't take any of the main streets home.  It's too dangerous tonight."

My brother lives literally 2 1/2 minutes from us. On a good day I can make it there in two. I was home before 10pm to ring in the New Year with my face in my pillow. Paranoia?

So, if you would be so kind as to enlighten me on this paranoia.  Are we just crazy? Because I am fully ready to accept that as a plausible possibility. Or is being privy to all the terrible details of all the terrible crimes a cause to the effect of this paranoia? I notice it often. I really am so grateful that CA Cop is always packin' when we are out and about town. I feel much safer knowing he is armed and ready to kick some butt.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

19 Hours, A New Record

I rubbed my eyes.  They were burning and hurt to open. But Shasta was announcing that it was time for me to get up regardless of what my body was telling me. I emerged from the bed as quickly as I could without making the mattress move or rustling the blanket too much. I grabbed the monitor and unplugged it immediately muting the baby jabber that had been filing our room and disturbing well needed slumber. I shut the door in the- hold the handle and slowly release the latch so as not to make a sound- fashion. Tiptoeing across the hallway I greeted our little boy with a smile and good morning kisses. There is nothing like baby kisses in the morning. We crept down stairs to start the day.

Breakfast, bath time for two little ones, shower for me. All the while trying to keep the noise at a minimum. Sierra was helped into her black tights and red and black Christmas dress.  Black shoes were velcroed at the latches and an over sized red satin bow dressed up her straight brown hair. Shasta wore tweed gray pants and a black vest.  A white button up shirt was the perfect contrast to the red and black checkered tie. I placed a little black hat over his blond Mohawk. Glancing at the clock, I quickly threw on a red skirt, white top and black cardigan and we were ready to go.  My eye caught a glimpse of CA Cop's red and black Christmas tie hanging in the closet.  It was the Sunday before Christmas.  We made our way into the Chapel and sat down on a cushioned pew. The kids looked absolutely adorable. The service was nice, as usual, and strangely the kids were actually pretty well behaved.  I wished he was there. As people passed us in the hallway I was stopped by the usual friendly salutations followed by the "CA Cop working today?"

He was supposed to be with us. But the day before he worked 19 hours!? 19 hours! There I was in bed watching the bright green numbers on the alarm clock change from one minute to the next, from one hour to the following hour. As the day turned to night and night into morning. He had left our house before 6AM on Saturday and returned home at 3AM Sunday morning. I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't sleep knowing where he was at that night. In the trenches. In the gutters of the bay area.

As church drew to a close I packed up my family and loaded them into their car seats. I made the drive back home staying alert amongst all the frantic Holiday shoppers clogging the roadways. I had one thing on my mind. I hoped he was awake. I wanted him to see that bow in his little girl's hair and how she still fit the Christmas dress his mom made her last year.  I wanted him to see Shasta in that 1920s newspaper boy hat that he miraculously left on for the entire duration of church. I wanted to ask him about his night. We pulled into the garage and I unloaded the babies. We really need a new car. My back is aching from bending down and fiddling with car seats.  An SUV is in order, at some point anyway.

I heard the squeals as they entered the house and I knew he was up. He smiled at Shasta and complimented him on his future ability to get girls with those looks.  He smoothed down Sierra's hair and laughed at the obvious fact that she must not have grown much since last year. I looked around our home and the chaos of the morning had been cleaned up and put away.  The counters were bare and freshly wiped down. The pillows were neatly placed on the couches and my best friend was in the recliner. Home. He stood up and put his hands around my waste.

19 hours straight is a new record for him. I'm sure to some this is nothing. So what's the longest shift your family has endured?