Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Until I Really Knew A Cop

There are a few things that I have learned since I have had the opportunity to get close to an officer.

1.) Being searched and handcuffed is very uncomfortable and very intrusive. Even when its your cadet husband practicing for his academy scenarios and you are dressed in your PJ's in the middle of your living room.  It still feels violating and I cannot imagine going through it "for real".

2.) Routine traffic stops are dangerous. And the cop is calculating your every move as he/she approaches your vehicle. Keep your hands on your wheel.

3.) While "quotas" may not exist (at least not in Baytown) every ticket written equals a potential 4+ hours of overtime for the officer........

4.) All cops are "jerks" unless you need them to come protect you, then magically they are "actually not that bad" or "actually a nice cop".

5.) Officers are not interested in hearing your "jerk" cop stories. Ever. (And their wives are even more annoyed by them.)

So this is the start of my list. It has been interesting being introduced to the LEO life.

Monday, May 30, 2011


In the last two weeks CA Cop has worked 50+ hours of overtime. That is in addition to his regular full time shift.

I. Miss. Him. Terribly.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Still Having Blogger Problems

Blogger is still having issues with comments on my blog.  Hopefully it will be resolved soon.  I have made several attempts to reply to comments, but have been unsuccessful.
If you have something you wanted to add to a recent post I do hope that you are able to post the comment soon. I appreciate all the great feedback that I get from my readers!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Look

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me.
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never me.
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me 'ever I fall.
You say it best, when you say nothing at all."

Okay, so maybe the song doesn't apply entirely, but at least you know I'm trying.

I have noticed a common thread in certain situations that CA Cop tells me about.  Whenever he is about to go hands on with an uncooperative individual, the moment prior to that contact being made always seems to be the same.....a look between his partner or backup and then hands on.

It fascinates me. It's always just a look, and then they move in on the subject. Working like a machine, they each work a different angle of the suspect in order to apprehend him as quickly and safely as possible.  No words are spoken, just a look followed by decisive action.

I don't know if it is just something that happens naturally between all cops?  I wonder if a sheriff or even if a CHP, whom he doesn't typically have a relationship with, was backing him up on a stop would it simply be a look at each other and a thousand words are exchanged on how to best deal with the unruly individual? In other words, is it a "universal look" or is it something that he shares with the officers who he knows and who know him?

I'm impressed at the training and the robotics of it all, yet still know that there are hundreds of unspoken thoughts and emotions swirling around in that split second that the action is taken.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Enlighten Me.......Sleeping Aids

Sleeping during the day is hard. 

Combine that with the fact that CA Cop sleeps half the week during the day and then switches to sleeping at night the other half so that he can see his babies.

That is a rough schedule. Now when you also add court into the mix often times during the middle of a day when he should be sleeping you end up with one tired man.

So I ask the following question:  Do you have any tried and true methods to make the sleep happen, last, and feel restful? Have you (officers) or does your cop (family members) use any sleeping aids? Be it a pill, a beverage, a music mix, birds tweeting, ocean sounds? What is your process (or your cop's process) for winding down and staying down for the maximum amount of time?  Have you ruled out sleeping pills? Why or why not? 

I will comment later on our current process, but for now I really want to here any tips!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Cop Wife Moment

"For the first time on the job, I was scared.

I was faced with a situation where my instincts were to turn and run.

But instead I walked toward the danger, gun drawn, not knowing what was going to happen."

He told me this not immediately after it happened, not the next time we talked, or even the next two times after that.  He told me when he was ready to tell me.

As he spoke these words and the details of the events that had transpired I felt my heart rate spike.  The bridge of my nose grew damp with gently falling tears. And my breathing changed rythm. But I kept strength in my voice as we spoke over the phone.

When I typically hear stories of his job, I don't hear his emotion.  I only hear about his actions. I either have to decipher his emotion based on the way he is telling me the story or assume that he is super cop and is just rarely affected by what he sees, hears, and endures. 

Having him spell it out to me the other night was almost haunting.

I told him that I was proud of him that in a split second he was able to acknowledge his feeling: fear, acknowledge his human instincts: leave danger, and yet allow his police training and duty to guide him through the needed actions.

Then I hung up the phone and sobbed out loud into my pillow. Because, for selfish reasons, I want him to run away...

But I married a warrior so I must be strong like he is.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


I have noticed that as the months go by, the less I hear about CA Cop's job.  The day to day cop routine has become just that...day to day routine.  I only hear of the stories that impact him in some way.  Whether it be humor, shock, frustration, sadness, anger, joy.  As we sat at the kitchen table several weeks ago one story came pouring out of him.  In short sentences at first, I don't think he was planning on going into detail, but the words continued to flow so he went with it.  The way he was telling me was different than he typically talked about work.  And after a few seconds I began to see what was different. He was concerned, so I listened even more intently trying to share in his emotion.  Of course situations at work have previously concerned him. But this was different, he was worried almost. He had a domestic case that had been weighing on the back of his mind for some time. 
It started out as a routine call (I'm learning that is how they all start). She has a restraining order on him, they are getting a divorce, she's pregnant with his kid, and on it goes right?

Right. But CA Cop had an eerie feeling about this situation.  It was a feeling he could not ignore and one that was ever so subtly nagging at him.

The conversations CA Cop had with the husband took on an unfamiliar emotion.  There was undeniable desperation in the man's voice, undertones of a grim future. The restraining order violations seemed to be escalating, stalking, property damage, phone calls. CA Cop told me that he warned the female about what his instincts were telling him.
So he got to work.  He drove by her residence on his shifts to try and catch the husband's vehicle in the vicinity.  He literally took out a tape measure to mark to the very inch whether or not the restraining order had been violated from where he saw said vehicle. And then he wrote every report he could possibly write on every action he could prove was done by the husband.

He came downstairs the other day and announced to me that the husband was picked up on a couple of no bail warrants due to the reports written by CA Cop which put the husband in violation of his probation.

I saw the relief in his face and watched the concern in his brow neutralize.

I am grateful that he not only listens to those "feelings" but also acts on them. I hope he never loses that.

At least one person in Baytown will sleep more peacefully tonight. 

Thursday, May 12, 2011


We were driving in the car the other day. We were in a sketchy area of town. The conversation was casual and the kids were singing out loud to the songs playing from CA Cop's iPod. It was so cute to hear Shasta try his best to form the words quickly enough to keep up with the songs.  Wanting to share in the moment of sheer parental joy I reached out for CA Cop's hand.  When I sensed some hesitation in his response I looked down at his hand.  It was resting on his pistol. He literally looked down at the gun, back at my hand, then back at the gun as he watched himself release it. The gun remained on his thigh and he gently took my hand.

No words were exchanged. I looked up at his handsome features.

Thats right, sweetheart, just relax and hold my hand.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Displaced Fear

CA Cop was completing the traffic stop. The left headlight was out and had prompted the stop on a late weekend night.

The driver checked out clean and CA Cop was just giving her a verbal warning to get the light fixed. The small child in the back seat was fussing and CA Cop tried to offer the little girl some soothing words.

The "mother" responded to his effort by explaining, "She don't like the Po-lice. She afraid of tha Po-lice."

"Why is that?" He was setting her up for it, I know.

"Her daddy and I have some do-mestic issues and the Po-lice have to come."

"Oh yeah? Like what kind?"

"Well, her daddy was choking me and I had to call ya'll."

Wait for it.......

"Sounds like she should be afraid of her daddy."

He doesn't know if he should have gone there, but he did. She was speechless. The stop ended there and the woman drove away quietly. CA Cop's partner laughed his way back to the patrol car.  I guess he was also a bit surprised at the bluntness.

I think it was right on point. Probably something the young "mother" should hear more often.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Problem Solving

The other night CA Cop and I did a vehicle swap that resulted in him forgetting his house keys.

I. Lock. Up. Every doorknob, every deadbolt, every latch, and I top it off with the motion detector on our alarm set and active.  This eventually lead to CA Cop staring up at his house at 3:00 AM while his family was locked tightly inside engulfed in peaceful slumber.

This was his process: He texted. He called. My vibrating phone didn't have the ability to wake me up after what seemed like a week of sleepless nights. I was finally in dreamland. Then I heard it, the tapping at my window. My second story window, mind you. Over and over. I jolted out of bed and tried to figure out where the sound was coming from and how. It was clear that it was an intentional disturbance.  I instinctively reached for my phone and saw the two text notifications and a missed call.  Even in my delirium the puzzle pieces came together quite rapidly.  I called my stranded prince and ran downstairs to unlock the castle doors. He met me at the door with a closed lip grin and I planted a kiss on his cheek.

He told me that when he got into the backyard below our windows he looked around at our landscaping rocks then up at the target window.  He just didn't feel that hurling the solid rock at our unsuspecting window would result in the outcome he was hoping for.  He remembered that he had a bag of almonds he was snacking on in the car.  The almonds became his ammunition of choice as they were fired up at the double pane glass.  They made the perfect amount of noise without risking the integrity of the window.

Its not every night one gets the luxury of waking up to flying almonds.....At least he's a problem solver, right?