Monday, March 14, 2011

Enlighten Me.... Wife Alongs

So let me know your opinion.  Where do you stand? How do you feel?  Do you think that an officer's spouse or significant other should go on a ride along? If yes, how often?

Do you think its a distraction for the officer or do you think its a great way to spend quality time with your significant other? Have you gone and had any experiences good/bad?

Does your department have any policy or opinions on it?

Officers, do you look forward to and plan for ride alongs with your significant other? Or do you avoid it all costs?

I'm going to wait to share my opinion on this one.


  1. Well, I'm not a wife technically, so would that skew your results? :) I went on a ride-along with JB last summer, and it was fine. Department is obvy okay with it. Once was probably enough, just as a learning experience. Since any old citizen can request a ridealong, I don't think it's distracting for the officer. JB's pretty good at compartmentalizing things anyway. :) But the night I went was really low-key - I think if there were a triple-beep he would have dropped me off at a coffee shop or something before responding.

  2. Ridealongs here are beyond boring as the rider is stuck in the vehicle and cannot go into the call. A far cry from Alaska where I've helped removed children from a home and drunk mother and Virginia where I was on a high-speed pursuit.

    As far as distracting, we've been married 26 years and 15+ of that LEO. He's more distracted by someone who would ask a zillion questions. Before he was in detectives and I could ride with him, I'd simply verify backup weapon removal (shotgun), any codes I would need in case of emergency and observe. I wasn't really there to be a charming chatterbox with a bunch of questions or to discuss personal life. It's not a date. He's at work. I'm merely watching.

  3. I'd like to go on a ride-along just so I can relate a bit better to his life and stresses. However, Blue has said that he wouldn't want me going with him, but would be fine if I went with one of his buddies. Something about feeling pressured to be 'super-cop' infront of me....

    With that said, I'm also fine with it not happening if that's what Blue would prefer.

  4. Pam- You don't skew my results :) and I think that once would probably be plenty.

    Meadow- I cannot beleive that you got to do all that on past ride alongs. CA Cop's dept is strict on riders staying in the vehicle.

    Covering Blue- I think I'm in line with what you had to say. I'd like to go on one but I will wait until he asks me to come with him. If it never happens, no worries.

  5. I've gone once or twice with DH. I really enjoyed it, but I think DH didn't like it. There was a car stop on a totally "hoopty" (how do you spell that word?!?) where I stayed in the car and there were five people in the car. It made me so nervous. One of my favorite (i.e. "competent") cops came to cover so that made me feel better. But i was still so nervous!! I think that irritated him and he decided I probably shouldn't go with him any more.

    I'd like to go again, though. I second ML's comment; it's not a date, it's an observation, and I would definitely try to keep chatting to a minimum -- unless it related specifically to the job at hand.

  6. A few years back, I took my wife out. I got beefed by a motorist for taking my 16 year old daughter out. My Sgt. could stop laughing. My wife was 30 at the time.

    My thought on the subject, is if your husband is new, go out on a slower night (mid-week) or have somebody on the same shift take you out.


  7. I'm a husband but have to add. My department won't allow a spouse to ride in the same car. For some reason we will allow other family members but not the spouse.

    We had an officer involved shooting a few years back and my Corporal's son was in his car. Then we started getting calls about an officer down because his adult son crawled into a little ball on the floor board of the unit. It wasn't until his dad got back after the shooting and foot pursuit that we realized it was the rider they were talking about.

    To end, although I've always encouraged my wife to go its kinda like not allowing the President and the Vice President to ride in the same airplane or how some couples won't ride on the same motorcycle. Planning for the worst, hopping for the best.

  8. Hearing JR talk on the radio is sexy as ever so yah, I'm TOTALLY in for ride alongs ;) On a serious note though (well, okay that last part was serious, I LOVE seeing him in work mode. All in control. Its hot!) I think family can be a distraction. I've gone out once or twice with JR on a quiet night however it isn't really 'policy' for that to be happening. However when we were fairly remote sometimes the PC was a mode of transportation to get me to town (with the Sarges approval obviously). So I've ridden in the back and front of a few police vehicles. I think its good to have the oppurtunity to ride along with someone whether it be your cop or another one but other then that I don't think it needs to be a regular occurence.

  9. Unfortunately, the Wife can't ride w/me. It's against dept. policy. She has never been happy about that...and I'd love for her to come out w/me for a day.

    She can always ride with a partner, but she doesn't have much desire to do that. Only a spouse is not allowed to ride. Girlfriends can ride, but not wives. Apparently, we care more about wives than girlfriends.

  10. I love that my Hubby (Motorcop) chimed in on this one (and I'm TOTALLY late to the party...

    This past summer, we were at a park taking family photos before Little arrived and there were some teens swearing and just being a menace. The Hubby walked over to them (obviously in plain clothes) and told them to shove off if they wanted to act like that because the park was busy (basically).

    The little punks started getting in his face, but of course, he wasn't backing down. I took off towards them, in my 38 week pregnant glory, and the Hubby was PISSED. AT ME.

    I was nervous and a total hazard to him in that case (and he wasn't even on duty!). Before I was bummed I couldn't ride with him, but now I get it. I want his focus to be on the situation, not what I'm doing.

    My beef is that his mom can go for ride alongs. He's a total Mama's Boy.

  11. You are not too late. I like the feedback any time.

    And in the park situation I could totally see the same scenario playing out with us and oooooo CA Cop would be mad at me.

    I would also worry that were I with him on duty that he may not be 100% focused on what he was doing, but have that slight sliver of his thoughts be on me and where I was and what I was doing or what I was able to see, etc.

    So as of now I have yet to ride with him.

    CA COp Wife

  12. I've gone on two ride alongs with my cop, once we just ran the road, wrote a few speeding tickets. And the other time he had a call 7 miles away from the coffee shop we were at and ran code the whole way. I am not fond of speeds of 110-120mph so the whole time im praying and saying, "Trust in God and Trust in Rodney." When we got there my adreniline was rushing and I loved it. I sat in the car while he dealt with the scum bags for a little over an hour. Then I asked him to take me home. That was enough excitment for me for the night. Lol. Rodney was a little dissapointed I wanted to go home and said he loved having me with him. I suppose I will go again sometime this summer but never again in the winter with the crappy raod conditions!!