Monday, November 22, 2010


We made our way to the back room where I knew our party would be waiting for us. We were late. He was tired. He had made it clear to me on the way over that he was too tired.  But I had family in town. A sister. One of my closest and very best friends. Her husband and kids. We were having an adult dinner at a favorite restaurant and all the local family would also be present.  The table was large and round. My favorite kind of restaurant table. You can actually converse with everyone versus only the folks directly next to or in front of you like a rectangular table offers. See, I think about these things. With as many siblings as I have, and such vibrant personalities that we've all been graced with, I never want to miss a beat.

CA Cop is the silent type. While generally comical in nature he usually keeps a low profile at the overwhelming family gatherings that tend to ensue with my side of the family.

We took our seats, placed our orders and the dialogue began. CA Cop was in the hot seat. Everyone wanting to know all the details. It really is a fascinating job. Its an intriguing job too. I looked at him, exhausted from the night shift, sun burnt from a softball tournament that he had played in that threw off his sleeping schedule, and weary of having to make his brain function enough to feed the curiosity of my family members.

On and on he went. Telling of his adventures and conquests thus far. Trying his best to answer the questions "on behalf of all cops".

Then they started. The "jerk" cop stories. He and I chuckled occasionally. CA Cop tried to give his best explanation as to why the officer may have handled the situation in that manner.

...And I thought about the fights with suspects, the bloody bodies robbed of life, the sobbing victims of domestic violence, the children he had seen living in tragic circumstances, the accident victims that he comforted as they bled on the pavement, and the ever present awareness of life and death that an officer is faced with each day.

I looked at my man, squeezed his hand under the table cloth, and took a deep breath as I fumbled to try and direct the conversation else where.


  1. I love your writing style. I really do. I also love that I can nod my head in complete aggreance with everything you are saying. About your man, about the stories, about everything. You really don't know what it's like unless you are in it. There are so many things that you just will never be able to explain to others even if you tried. It's frustrating, but it's also a nice bonding thing with each other as well as other LEOs and their families, but I really wish people understood.

  2. Good for the Mr. Sounds like you all handled it well.

    It is no wonder that police usually hang with police--others have difficulty understanding how much of a life committment the profession is.

  3. Of course Mrs. Fuzz and Slam said just what I was thinking...

    Whenever Indubitably comes to parties or visits my work, I feel robbed of time with him. The questions and stories are endless and in my mind I find myself thinking, "He could care less about your stolen trash can." But he listens and replies, which is more than I do when people ask me what they should do with their hair!

  4. That strange place where you want to tell them all to F-off because they are wrong, and wanting to keep the peace. It happens all to often, if it is "bad cop" stories or an exaggeration about a big bust just last week.
    Just the other day I got the joy of an exaggeration: "Yeah the cops hit 5 houses, and one of them was full of guns!" All the while I am thinking "You don't know anything about real life do you?" And yet the same thought comes up more than once a week.

  5. Just re-read (as it reposted in my reader) and I remember thinking "Oh, THIS is why people have friends. They are able to keep their mouths shut."

    Husband may be understanding and not stress over it, but if someone rags on cops, they're insulting my husband by association and there will be NONE. OF. THAT.

    Like I said... explains why we have no friends.

    Kudos for you to think before you act. :)