The Ultimate Sacrafice

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As we got closer to Vacaville the freeway began to thicken with flashing lights.  In our rear view mirror, there was a rope of blue and red stretching beyond our view.  Even in the civilian cars beside us we saw badges, patches, suits, dresses.  We all exited the freeway and the emotions began to rise.

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The actual road became the parking lot.  Patrol vehicles lined three cars deep stretched at least an entire block. I tried to read the names of the departments as I deciphered the curved lettering on the rear of the black, blue, and white vehicles we passed.   Hundreds of  motorcycles reflected the sun on the opposite curb and literally drew a gasp from my mouth. Stunning.

When we approached the church, the sight became even more breathtaking.  There were badges from all over the country dressed in their Class As with the every button, snap, badge, and boot carefully and thoughtfully polished. Nevada, Washington, New York were a few that I noticed.  Every bay area city and agencies that stretched the entire state stood in the courtyard.  The emotion was moving. The feeling was somber.

Over 4000 people took their seats.  The casket was draped in an American flag and the bagpipes played as we stood while the hero, Officer Kenyon Youngstrom, was brought to the front of the church. I had been anticipating the bagpipes and the anguish that their sound would stir.

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The memorial was beautiful. I have a new, deep respect for the CHP.  I commented to the CHP wives I knew that they should be very proud to be part of something so wonderful. It was clear that Officer Youngstrom's family had been very cared for and embraced by the CHP during the week that had passed since his End of Watch.  I am certain they will continue to find that support there.

May God bless each officer this day.  Keep them safe.  Keep there minds clear and their judgment sound.

To Karen Youngstrom and all four children, so many tears my family and I have shed for you whom we have never met.  Your support system stretches throughout the cities and across this state, even across the country.  You will continue to be remembered in our prayers in hopes of peace being brought to your hearts.

Analyzing My Cop

Comedic:  When CA Cop's partner shows up to back him up on a domestic call and the greasy pot head exclaims "Oh great that's all this world needs- more cops!"

Exhausting:  When CA Cop's department schedules 30 hours of class during his 3 days off- twice in one month.  Overtime pay is nice, but so is sleep.

Frustrating: When the young woman was beaten so badly during the rape that she is unconscious and the hospital refuses to do a rape kit without her consent.

Haunting: The bloated, decomposing face of the suicide victim, mouth open, left arm sticking straight up into the air.

Enraging: When CA Cop assisted the nine year old girl out  from the back passenger seat of the SUV her plastered mother was driving around town.  The mother so drunk that vomit stuck in her stringy blond hair and dripped onto her jeans as she swerved through the city streets.

Empowering: CA Cop hearing the sound of his cuffs clicking tightly on the wrists of one of the home burglary suspects, the thug's elbows raw and bleeding from the pavement they just encountered during the struggle.


Creating this list puts things into perspective for me as a Cop's wife. I know my job description better when I can sit back and analyze his.
I think that our home needs to be a place where he can find warmth, joy in his children, and some feet up relaxation time.  I will do my best with this in mind because I can only imagine what he carries on his mind.

Snapshots of A Cop's Wife's Life III

We went ahead and paid for some additional home security.  So far, worth every penny.....

Thirsty Anyone?

CA Cop could tell they were trying to avoid him. The late model Chrysler with the spinning rims made a few quick turns and caught the officer's darting eyes. The three male occupants were in their mid 20's- CA Cop correctly estimated as he called in the stop to dispatch. The driver of the teal green vehicle hesitated only briefly after his eyes met the flashing red and blue reflection in his rear view mirror. He pulled the pimped out ride to the curb of a main Baytown thoroughfare. CA Cop cautiously approached the vehicle.  Robotically, he pressed his fingers on the rear of the car.  The smell of skunk slapped him in the face and made the cop smile just enough to reveal that enchanting twinkle in his eyes.  He now had cause to search the group of hardcore players.  As he and his partners pulled each adult out of their sweet ride the cop couldn't help but noticed that brand names checkered their clothing.  A swag group, no doubt.  As CA Cop searched one of the males he felt a large bottle in the man's front pocket.  He lifted up the clear plastic bottle and discovered that his hand now held a container which was filled with an amber-yellow liquid.  A hand warmer was securely taped to the outside of the bottle keeping its contents at, shall we say, "body temperature" warmth.

Yes folks. our thugged out, clean fitted gentleman was carrying a bottle of urine in his designer jeans.

CA Cop stared in disbelief. 

Well at least that's what I would do.  At this point, I don't know if things like this still shock him.

CA Cop stared in disgust, "What the hell are you doing with your life, brother? Your are 25 years old and driving around with a bottle full of piss in your pocket just so you can get high? And not fail your drug test? You are a loser. Only a complete loser would have someone else's piss in their pocket."

Hey honey, at least he showed some ingenuity with the hand warmer and scotch tape.  Points for that, right?

Stolen Car

So I was with a girlfriend the other day.  She needed to pick up her stolen car that was recovered by our Hometown PD.  I was there for moral support.  It was interesting to watch her, as a victim of the crime.  We came armed with antibacterial wipes and rubber gloves, convinced that whoever perpetrated such a crime must've also left all kinds of bodily fluids and goo throughout the vehicle. CA Cop had offered his input:

"The interior will have ashes everywhere and smell like bud. Oh and an empty hard liquor bottle will be rolling around on the floor board of the back seat."

I went ahead and looked up some information online about reclaiming a stolen vehicle and ended up reading horror stories about drug needles left pointing up in the drivers seat and all sorts of awful things. *I recommend skipping this step if you ever have to go pick up a stolen vehicle*

We were greeted by the friendly woman at the front desk of the Tow Company (wolf in sheep's clothing, let me tell you, just wait til you hear what the bill was).  She went on and on about what a cute car my friend had and that it was in great shape.  We followed her out to the tow yard and there amidst crumpled and neglected vehicles was my friend's shiny sedan. It appeared out of place among its current company.  We hesitantly approached it and peered in through the windows.  The driver and passenger seats were reclined so far back that they were nearly resting on the backseat. I rolled my eyes at this observation as I pictured the freakin' thugs who may have been lounging in her vehicle. Other than that the interior looked unscathed, I mean seriously not an ash nor a bottle. Not a hair and certainly no needles.  We gloved up before we touched anything and wiped it down with the germ removers three times over for peace of mind. 

Her car had been in the tow yard for an hour and a half and had been towed less than three miles to the yard.  The bill was $300.  Yup.  I was shocked, I felt like she was victimized twice.

It was an interesting experience, one that I hope to not have to repeat.  Later that evening I was explaining to CA Cop just how clean the interior of her vehicle was when it occurred to me,

"Hey, how come Hometown PD didn't dust for fingerprints or anything? I mean clearly they didn't because there was no dust in her car."

"I never dust for prints"

"Really? Never?"

"Nope, well I guess I occasionally do a what I like to call a 'PR dusting'."

Half joking I said, "What do mean? The owner is standing right there so you sprinkle some dust around his car with no intention of lifting a print?"

:"Yep."

"Seriously? You just sprinkle dust everywhere?"

"Yep."

I sat there and pictured this. Him sprinkling dust everywhere, the poor victim hoping the dirt bag will be brought to justice. But its just not a priority in Baytown or in Hometown. CA Cop says there are hundreds of fingerprints in and around cars and its just not practical to collect the prints.

So what's your experience with stolen vehicles? Is this typical where you live/work? Were you shocked by that tow fee?

Rest In Peace Officer Capoot

My heart is breaking for the family of 19 year police veteran of Vallejo PD, Officer Jim Capoot. He was gunned down and shot in the back multiple times while pursuing bank robbery suspects.  He leaves behind a wife and three daughters.  I ache for them. On the news last night they kept showing the flag draped casket leaving the hospital surrounded by the somber officers with empty expressions as they treated their fallen brother's remains with care and dignity.

Thank you Sir, for your service and your sacrifice.  God bless your family.

The full story is located here.

Overheard At Family Dinner

Seated around the table. We chatted as we chewed our food and enjoyed the meal.  My mom had cooked one of CA Cop's all time favorites and he happily worked away at the meat and potatoes on his plate.

"This ham is great!" He announced in the direction of my mom.

Across the table my older brother couldn't resist, "Isn't that kinda like cannibalism?"

Shoring Up the Castle Walls

"What is the phone number to the alarm company?" CA Cop has asked me this a few times, well actually he has been asking me to call and I keep forgetting, "Will it be on the sign in our front yard?"

You see there has been a RASH of home burglaries in Baytown (technically in the entire bay area and certainly including our home town). 

"I've seen the emotional damage..... and that's my main concern." Then he went on to list the items in our home that may be of interest to the dirtbags.

He is wanting to order another motion detector or two for our home to patrol our darkened rooms while we sleep or to help shore up the castle walls while I am running errands during the day. 

His sleep has been bothered. He dreams of break ins. Often.  Very. Often.  A gust of wind rattling a door caused him to spring up in bed with a "WHAT WAS THAT?" Only to retreat back to his pillow equally as fast with no recollection of it the next morning.

But sometimes he does recall the dreams.  They are vivid as he scrambles to protect his family.

He changed all the batteries in our smoke detectors the other day.......

And I Think To Myself.......

Today I got a phone call from CA Cop that went something like this:

Me- "Hello"

CA Cop- "He--- oh, sorry I'll have to call you back."

As I hung up the phone I stood in my kitchen and observed my surroundings. Remnants of the day were distributed throughout my home, but I became caught up in the four paintings laying out to dry on my kitchen counter.  It became one of those moments.  The type where you just let the impact set in.  I was thinking how blessed I was to have been present when those paintings were dreamed up and then created. And when they were completed, I got to wash the paint off their little fingers, cheeks, and arms.

In the kitchen I could hear them, happily screaming and enjoying each others imaginative chatter from within the "fort" built from blankets and kitchen chairs in my family room.

I am so grateful that I get to be home with my babies at this time in their lives.  That I know why their fingernails are dirty, if their foreheads feel too hot, and if they have cried that day.  I know what adventure Shasta was on when he got that hole in his jeans and I know what color(s) Sierra wants me to paint her nails.  There is nothing else that I would rather be doing, at this time, during this phase in my life.

Not because there is nothing else that I could be doing, but because I know that I am irreplaceable in only one place.

Today, CA Cop could not even pause for a moment to say "hello."  As for me, I got to relish in my moment, staring at those works of art.  I am so grateful to have a husband who finds my desired role as a mother and a homemaker as respected and uplifted as I do. Truly I am grateful.

Random Quotes From a Cop

"I hate how people die with their mouth open."

Figuring It All Out

"I think I've figured it out!" He announced this as he came into the kitchen.  Arms crossed, he leaned back against the counter.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but clearly it was something that had been causing him some mental conflict.

"I think I have such little patience for the kid's noises because I can't escape noise all day long.  Baytown has a nonstop stream of radio traffic flowing from the dispatchers to my radio and then directly into my eardrum. It never stops."

I wrinkled my brow at him, sad that he was feeling inadequate in his parenting and also really finding an understanding in how freaking annoying that would be.  I mean seriously, on a 12+ hour shift his radio is never turned off, not for lunch, not for bathroom break, not for a quick phone call to me, not for any reason.  And so the incessant noise oozes into that amazing brain of his, via his custom fit ear piece, all the while he multi tasks. 

Thanks for giving me that little nugget of perspective. I can be a better wife to you when I know where you're coming from and something as simple as that bit of enlightenment helps me understand just that much more about your day and what you need when you get home.

Snapshots of a Cop's Wife's Life II

Sierra watching TV with an unusual backrest.  Looks comfy enough.

Ahh, I love this girl!

Enlighten Me.....Job Realities

My legs were draped over the armrest of the recliner as I sipped from my water bottle and began to unwind from the long day.  The squeals of "Daddy, yay, daddy," flowed past her closed door, down the stairs, and were audible over my blaring TV show. The sheer joy was contagious.  I could picture her probably standing on her pink canopy bed shuffling her curtains to the side to catch a glimpse of him pulling into the driveway.  She had heard the garage door open.  I stood up to greet him. Arms full he made his way in through the garage. He threw his duty belt down and began peeling off the layers. I put my hands around his neck and kissed his cheek.  The little footsteps could be heard making their way down the stairs.  She rounded the bottom step and came flying into the family room. She and I smiled at each other as she flung herself at her target. He scooped her up with a kiss on the top of her shiny brown hair. We both completely adore him.  Even through her chatter about the day you could see the stress and exhaustion on his face.  His blue eyes don't hide much.  She scampered up the stairs in front of him.  She knew he would sing to her and tuck her back in, 

He was expressionless as he came downstairs, grabbed the laptop, and collapsed on the couch. 

He was quiet for some time before he spoke.

"I can't get it off my mind.... that case today."

I knew it, baby, you didn't even have to say it out loud.  It was displayed in the worry lines on your face, in the heaviness of your shoulders, the near dragging in your steps.

I moved from the recliner to the couch and put his sore feet on my lap to help relieve his concerns in the small way I was capable of.

She was a 7 year old girl and he was her uncle, they were inside a car in a parking lot, and I am sure you can figure out the rest.  Witnesses called Baytown PD and CA Cop was the first on the scene.

There really is such an ugly medley of evil that our officers must extinguish or contain each and every relentless day.  My concern is can they really remain stoic and unscathed with all the exposure? Does it slowly tear into their foundation over time or if they build the walls tall enough through God and family can they keep the fortress strong?

I guess I'm asking for some enlightenment....I would love to hear from officers and family members walking in all different stages of this life.  Are you affected by what you see? In a permanent way or is it more temporary? Have you noticed differences in your officer the more they are exposed to or as each year passes in this profession?

They just see and hear so much.....

Gangland, CA

We were in the grocery store, just the two of us. We saw him at the end of the aisle, an old high school friend. They exchanged greetings.  I noticed that while CA Cop seemed genuine he carefully steered the conversation he was having away from anything personal and certainly away from work. They smiled and parted ways and we continued our shopping.

"He's still in a gang." CA Cop said informing me of specifically which gang, "I can tell by his haircut."

Haircut? Who knew?

CA Cop spots them everywhere. It's their hat with a specific letter, Its their jacket with specific numbers, its the color of the stripes on their shirt, the roman numerals in their tattoos, the colors they wear, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Motorcycle gangs, street gangs, turf gangs.  I had no idea that there were so many different brands of local gangs or chapters. 

Awareness is good, right?

Snapshots of a Cop's Wife's Life

Careful where you put your sunglasses on a road trip with your cop....

Waste

Ok, so I know that this post will probably not be a popular one. But I can't help but publicize this observation that I have had about our court system and the amount of wasted tax dollars that seem to so freely flow out those judicial doors (and often into my very own bank account).

CA Cop gets a minimum of 4 hours of time and a half pay if he drives his well toned butt to those courthouse steps. Period. End of story. Cha Ching. Sometimes he is there for 4 hours sometimes he is there for 5 minutes.  More often than not he is there for 30 minutes or less. We appreciate the court overtime. As I am sure all LEO families do.

So here are my concerns, as a public citizen, separate from being a Cop Wife who likes the extra padding in the bank account.

CA Cop ALWAYS calls the court house the day before to confirm that the trial (or whatever court proceeding it may be) is confirmed to happen the next day. Occasionally they will let him know that it has been continued but often times they give him the thumbs up and so he sets his alarm clock for the next day accordingly.  Then he and 4 other officers (or however many worked the case/scene) show up all clocking in their 4 hours of time and a half at their respective pay rates only to discover that the suspect called in ill 3 days ago and the trial has been continued for another day.  Or the suspect is in jail in a different county and won't be in.  Or the prosecutor left on an emergency out of town 5 days ago and so the case has been delayed.  And on and on it goes.  5 officers collect their overtime from the public coffers and continue on their merry way. 5 officers that should have been informed the day before when they ALL called in the day before to check on the trial.

Shouldn't someone, somewhere have known that Suspect B for trial 38G was jailed up in some other county within 24-48 hours of their court date?

I am certain that I know very little about the complexities of a courthouse and of our judicial system, so perhaps I am just revealing my ignorance with this post. But I am shocked at how time and again he does an about face upon arriving at the courthouse because of some preexisting problem with the suspect/attorneys/judges/other officers/etc.  I understand the unforeseen issues of evidence and attorney delays, etc.  And I am not at all saying that once he's there he should not be paid. Our plans were postponed, family time was delayed, and precious sleep was lost so he better darned well be paid, but seriously?  If the suspect has a sinus infection on Monday can't we let the officer's know by Thursday that the 5 of them need not show up and cost the tax payers $1100 for nothing?

Okay, let me have it.  Please tell me I am wrong, or misunderstanding, or should shut up and be grateful for the incompetence of the government agencies because heck I'm personally profiting.......

Even in the Bay Area

He had just sat down to eat. Finally. It was busy. The calls seemed endless and tedious on this particular day shift. Dispatch rang out in his ear.  The sounds of the radio echoing around his ear drums. His beat.

CA Cop swallowed some water as he responded. The dispatcher sounded annoyed, he could hear it in her voice.

"Caller claims there are three suspicious juveniles in her neighborhood, yet she cannot articulate anything about them or their actions that is suspicious."

He hopped in the patrol car and headed up the hill to the ritzy neighborhood.  It didn't take him long to spot the three black males. They were young, laughing as they took their skateboards up and down the hill in the sunshine of the early afternoon.

CA Cop rolled his eyes as he exited the yuppie neighborhood, lined with suburbans and newer model sedans.  He headed back to his lunch.  There was no way he was going to bother those kids. They were good kids. 

Just apparently the wrong color for the neighborhood........

Lessons In Texting

Dear CA Cop,

I really appreciate that when you were running 4+ hours late the other night you took the first moment you had to text me. It really means a lot.  You know I worry about you, honey.

Just a little helpful tip.  Under similar circumstances in the future, I would greatly appreciate it if you could please refrain from making the first line of the first contact we've had in over 7 hours be "I'm in the hospital".

Even though you so kindly went on to explain that you were waiting on a victim.  I nearly had to pick myself up off the floor. For future reference I have compiled a list of suggested alternatives to "I'm in the hospital". Please use freely and apply substitutions when/where necessary:

#1.) I'm with a rape victim waiting at the hospital. Don't know when I'll be home.
#2.) Waiting with rape victim at hospital. Not sure when I'll be done.
or
#3.) Going to be a long night. Just waiting on a victim to be checked at hospital.

Again, thank you so much for the text. You were definitely missed sorry it was such a very long night. You were exhausted.

With Love,
CA Cop Wife

Wash Day II

In my previous post describing an experience I had while washing the handsome CA Cop's uniform I took the time to note the care in which this process is performed.  Being that the man is still a rookie and being that a well manicured appearance is just part of his personality, the uniforms must be handled with care. Emphasis on must. I have been outlined instructions on the dos and don'ts of the "wash and wear" uniform ever since the dry clean only uniforms got shelved (or closeted). Its a labor of love, truly. I catch a glimpse of what he experiences during inspections every Sunday evening as I hang up the freshly washed and dried uniforms for him to raise a single eyebrow at before loading into the car.

Okay so now that you have the background information let me indulge your reading senses with a little happening that occurred on one such wash day.

CA Cop had just purchased a new uniform, long sleeve.  I'm talking brand spankin' new.  He may have worn it on one shift.  I was instructed to include said uniform into my wash day, along with all the proper rituals and routines that must be done in order to "properly" handle the "fragile" load.

I checked the pockets. Turned the pants inside out, buttoned and zipped, and dropped them into the sudsy-but-not-too-sudsy cold water.  I repeated the process with the top and carried on with my day.  I was ready and waiting at the sound of the buzzer and tossed the uniform into the dryer on low-heat-energy-preferred. And carried on with my day.

Half an hour later, I could see him from my position on the couch.  He entered the laundry room for some unforeseen reason and something caught his eye. There it was. My hands quickly covered my gaping mouth in horror.  A little black sleeve seemed to be waving at us from the door of the dryer. It seemed to reach out and grab his leg begging for help as he walked into the room. 

Expressionless, he looked in my direction, opened the dryer to rescue his poor baby, but it was too late.  The end of the sleeve had remained still, caught in the door, while the rest of the shirt danced around the dryer. The left arm of the shirt had been tightly twisted over and over and over and over again.  It was like nothing I had ever seen before.  He was speechless.  I was also, but for different reasons, I had to choke back the laughter- knowing that he saw no humor in the situation. I carefully, slowly, gently unwound the sleeve.

I broke the silence with a  "See, its fine!"

Placing the top on a hanger we stared.  The left sleeve was dramatically longer, cartoonish really.

I excused myself to our bedroom upstairs, I am certain he thought I was sad or embarrassed.  As I shut the door I released into a fit of laughter that gripped my stomach and made my eyes water.  Between the snorting I could hear the cop, with a lightness in his voice yell up to me "Its not funny".

Oh but it was....

Summer Vacation

Summertime so far......

Sand, Suntans, Swimming, Sandcastles, Snow cones. Salt water, Skating, Slip n slides.

Boating, Beaches, Boardwalk, Body surfing, Biking

Swimming in fresh water lakes, Wading in fast running Creek, Diving in chlorinated pools, Riding waves in salty ocean with dolphins nearby.

Parks, Parties, Planting, Parades, Practice Soccer, picnic lunches, pedicures.

Fireworks, Fire roasting, Fresh air, fresh fish, Floaties, FAMILY TIME, FAMILY MEMORIES.

CA Cop was able to have a bit of time off and we spent almost ever second of it as a family.

That being said I am back in the saddle with blogging.......