And I Think To Myself.......

Today I got a phone call from CA Cop that went something like this:

Me- "Hello"

CA Cop- "He--- oh, sorry I'll have to call you back."

As I hung up the phone I stood in my kitchen and observed my surroundings. Remnants of the day were distributed throughout my home, but I became caught up in the four paintings laying out to dry on my kitchen counter.  It became one of those moments.  The type where you just let the impact set in.  I was thinking how blessed I was to have been present when those paintings were dreamed up and then created. And when they were completed, I got to wash the paint off their little fingers, cheeks, and arms.

In the kitchen I could hear them, happily screaming and enjoying each others imaginative chatter from within the "fort" built from blankets and kitchen chairs in my family room.

I am so grateful that I get to be home with my babies at this time in their lives.  That I know why their fingernails are dirty, if their foreheads feel too hot, and if they have cried that day.  I know what adventure Shasta was on when he got that hole in his jeans and I know what color(s) Sierra wants me to paint her nails.  There is nothing else that I would rather be doing, at this time, during this phase in my life.

Not because there is nothing else that I could be doing, but because I know that I am irreplaceable in only one place.

Today, CA Cop could not even pause for a moment to say "hello."  As for me, I got to relish in my moment, staring at those works of art.  I am so grateful to have a husband who finds my desired role as a mother and a homemaker as respected and uplifted as I do. Truly I am grateful.

Random Quotes From a Cop

"I hate how people die with their mouth open."

Figuring It All Out

"I think I've figured it out!" He announced this as he came into the kitchen.  Arms crossed, he leaned back against the counter.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but clearly it was something that had been causing him some mental conflict.

"I think I have such little patience for the kid's noises because I can't escape noise all day long.  Baytown has a nonstop stream of radio traffic flowing from the dispatchers to my radio and then directly into my eardrum. It never stops."

I wrinkled my brow at him, sad that he was feeling inadequate in his parenting and also really finding an understanding in how freaking annoying that would be.  I mean seriously, on a 12+ hour shift his radio is never turned off, not for lunch, not for bathroom break, not for a quick phone call to me, not for any reason.  And so the incessant noise oozes into that amazing brain of his, via his custom fit ear piece, all the while he multi tasks. 

Thanks for giving me that little nugget of perspective. I can be a better wife to you when I know where you're coming from and something as simple as that bit of enlightenment helps me understand just that much more about your day and what you need when you get home.

Snapshots of a Cop's Wife's Life II

Sierra watching TV with an unusual backrest.  Looks comfy enough.

Ahh, I love this girl!

Enlighten Me.....Job Realities

My legs were draped over the armrest of the recliner as I sipped from my water bottle and began to unwind from the long day.  The squeals of "Daddy, yay, daddy," flowed past her closed door, down the stairs, and were audible over my blaring TV show. The sheer joy was contagious.  I could picture her probably standing on her pink canopy bed shuffling her curtains to the side to catch a glimpse of him pulling into the driveway.  She had heard the garage door open.  I stood up to greet him. Arms full he made his way in through the garage. He threw his duty belt down and began peeling off the layers. I put my hands around his neck and kissed his cheek.  The little footsteps could be heard making their way down the stairs.  She rounded the bottom step and came flying into the family room. She and I smiled at each other as she flung herself at her target. He scooped her up with a kiss on the top of her shiny brown hair. We both completely adore him.  Even through her chatter about the day you could see the stress and exhaustion on his face.  His blue eyes don't hide much.  She scampered up the stairs in front of him.  She knew he would sing to her and tuck her back in, 

He was expressionless as he came downstairs, grabbed the laptop, and collapsed on the couch. 

He was quiet for some time before he spoke.

"I can't get it off my mind.... that case today."

I knew it, baby, you didn't even have to say it out loud.  It was displayed in the worry lines on your face, in the heaviness of your shoulders, the near dragging in your steps.

I moved from the recliner to the couch and put his sore feet on my lap to help relieve his concerns in the small way I was capable of.

She was a 7 year old girl and he was her uncle, they were inside a car in a parking lot, and I am sure you can figure out the rest.  Witnesses called Baytown PD and CA Cop was the first on the scene.

There really is such an ugly medley of evil that our officers must extinguish or contain each and every relentless day.  My concern is can they really remain stoic and unscathed with all the exposure? Does it slowly tear into their foundation over time or if they build the walls tall enough through God and family can they keep the fortress strong?

I guess I'm asking for some enlightenment....I would love to hear from officers and family members walking in all different stages of this life.  Are you affected by what you see? In a permanent way or is it more temporary? Have you noticed differences in your officer the more they are exposed to or as each year passes in this profession?

They just see and hear so much.....

Gangland, CA

We were in the grocery store, just the two of us. We saw him at the end of the aisle, an old high school friend. They exchanged greetings.  I noticed that while CA Cop seemed genuine he carefully steered the conversation he was having away from anything personal and certainly away from work. They smiled and parted ways and we continued our shopping.

"He's still in a gang." CA Cop said informing me of specifically which gang, "I can tell by his haircut."

Haircut? Who knew?

CA Cop spots them everywhere. It's their hat with a specific letter, Its their jacket with specific numbers, its the color of the stripes on their shirt, the roman numerals in their tattoos, the colors they wear, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Motorcycle gangs, street gangs, turf gangs.  I had no idea that there were so many different brands of local gangs or chapters. 

Awareness is good, right?

Snapshots of a Cop's Wife's Life

Careful where you put your sunglasses on a road trip with your cop....